We had a pretty volatile family-certainly not afraid of confrontation. Close as kids, but then she seemed to change into something else. My parents coddled her, young and older. If she was stressed, then no one could confront her, because she would react so badly. I've explained alot in my 2 comments above.

I let her views of me keep me down for so long. She's disapproving, controlling, emotional. My doses of her are very small. A day or so in the summer, a phone call on b'days. We're both on FB and I thought that would be an easly way to shoot an email to her, but she's as closed up there as she is everywhere.

I guess I wonder if it's worth it to reach out every now and then and be basically rebuffed and just let it go (my older sister can do that, me, I struggle). I do it, so I guess that answers that-and just suck it up like you say.

I have a brother whom while we have a difficult relationship, I wouldn't call it toxic. My older sister who lives here near me and I get along well-we have a 6 year difference.

It just seems peaceful to me to not have to deal with the toxic ones. I agree with the advice for sure.

Look at all the Thanksgiving movies made about the dysfunctional familes...(tho they seem fine at the end)!