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I wish I was able to feel more positively and/or humorously towards my sister. She pisses me off. And scares me. She offers nothing, cheerfully. She has kids which is the incentive to attempt communication, but there just isn't any. My 2 attempts today, have only resulted in me feeling like shit.
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Are you close in age? Did you grow up together or where you at odds when you lived at home? There are so many factors determining how sibs get along. How parents deal with them has a lot to do with it.
I have a strange relationship with my siblings. It's mostly due to our age difference. I was born in 1961. My brother Scott was born in '63. After a seven year vacation mom had Nicole in '70, Donna in '72, and Glen in '74.
I moved out at 19 when the little ones were 10, 8 and 6. They grew up without me. I started a family when they were kids. We don't have much in common but there's no hostility.
I'm in contact with Glen and Nicole semi-regularly. In fact, I owe Niki a phone call. I never hear from Donna but that's fine with me....long story.
Scott died young. He and I grew up together but he was the black sheep, always in trouble. In a family of five kids I really only grew up with one.
We all complain about one thing, Mom's distance. Our mother will never pick up a phone or make any effort to contact us. Dealing with her is a one-way street. For years I thought it was just me but Niki and Glen confirmed they have the same problem.
My family is strange and now that I live far away I get only small doses.
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I let her views of me keep me down for so long. She's disapproving, controlling, emotional. My doses of her are very small. A day or so in the summer, a phone call on b'days. We're both on FB and I thought that would be an easly way to shoot an email to her, but she's as closed up there as she is everywhere.
I guess I wonder if it's worth it to reach out every now and then and be basically rebuffed and just let it go (my older sister can do that, me, I struggle). I do it, so I guess that answers that-and just suck it up like you say.
I have a brother whom while we have a difficult relationship, I wouldn't call it toxic. My older sister who lives here near me and I get along well-we have a 6 year difference.
It just seems peaceful to me to not have to deal with the toxic ones. I agree with the advice for sure.
Look at all the Thanksgiving movies made about the dysfunctional familes...(tho they seem fine at the end)!
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You're sister may judge others, control and manipulate but she can't get away with that forever. Adults will walk away from her. Someday her own children will keep their distance.
Yes, the movies always turn out okay but families are different. A movie has a writer who can wrap the story up in a neat bow. Families have many writers who each have their own idea of how things should be. There's the comflict.
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