openscarf | (no subject)

Are we better people because we own the house and get big tax refunds; or because we put paint or metal or clay or words together in ways that touch others? Does having and raising children make us fuller than those who don’t? Does earning a lot of money put us above those how don’t? Who are lonelier, people who live alone or couples who aren’t connecting?

I do a yoga practice with a guided Meta mediation and one of the instructions is to let go of neurotic achievements. I love that line so much.

True that most people are fighting personal battles that we’ll never know about. It pays to be nice. It pays to say less than what I think I should say.

these are just some thoughts I’ve been having.

But. Check. This. Out. I think I’m going to freakin Burning Man! A woman who writes for the site and I had a brief conversation and we may just be excellent playa mates. Wow, Wow, Wow.

I don’t remember if I had written that I was resigned to not going because I couldn’t rationalize spending all that money to get there alone. This is different.

We’ll be meeting very soon to chat.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think the answers to all of those questions in your first paragraph are 'no'. As for who is lonelier, I think a person can be equally lonely in either circumstance; neither is 'more' lonely than the other. I can say that because I've been in both of those situations. Happily not anymore, but oh yes, loneliness can strike bitterly whether one is single/alone or in a couple/alone.

Letting go of neurotic achievements sounds like a very wise thing to do. And being nice to others. I can't stand people who are mean or trouble-makers just for the sake of it. I wish people were just nice to each other, even kind to each other. Luckily, often they are. I try to be, though I'm sure I don't always succeed!

So glad to hear you may be going to Burning Man after all! I hope it works out beautifully!

I think you just about nailed it,being kind to others (and ourselves, probably harder!) makes for happier people. Random acts of kindness and all that. I think many achievements are neurotically achieved and then held up, look at me, look at what I do.

And yes, thanks for the Burning Man wishes.

Better, fuller, above and lonely are all ideas subjected to our opinion and prejudice.

After 25 years of home ownership and watching it all crash in the last three years, it's hard for me to argue owning a house is better than leasing. Five years ago I would have made that case. Not today.

Money can give the illusion of happiness but I think well off people are just as miserable as the rest of us. There's never enough money for some people. I pity them.

Parenting has brought a great deal of joy to my life, but a fair amount of heartache too. It's not for everyone. I know parents who are very judgemental about childless couples. They can't see life without children as being full. I don't see it that way at all because a full life can be attained many ways.

Having been married and lonely I found more happiness being alone, so I never assume someone alone is necessarily lonely.

It's good to hear about the BM revival.

It's interesting to hear what real people think, because the "American way of life" is beat into us all our lives, marry, have children, buy a house or three. And be financially rewarded.

My neighbor the vet, who broke his shoulder riding his bike said an interesting thing to me the other day, he said he envied me my freedom. I always say I want to be free, I'm glad I project that, but I'd rather be free with a paycheck. ;-)

And thanks! Will update regarding BM revival.