When I thought there was going to be a trial in May, I started eating and working out as if I was in training. I couldn't sleep very well, but I made sure that when I should be sleeping, I was at least physically resting. After my run-over-by-a-truck feelings and reactions of the preliminary hearing, I wanted to build up strength since I knew more what to expect.
I've kept up the 'training.' I treat yoga like water-vital for survival, can't go more than 3 days without. I can feel my legs, core and arms getting stronger and firmer. Of course it smooths out the crunchiness in my shoulders and neck muscles too. I'm also walking and running, depending on what my knees say I can do that day. I haven't given in to the junk food cravingsand am eating really clean and a lot of it raw.
I lost some physical strenghth in the last year, part of it natural, part of it not, and now I just want to be strong and healthy. It's amazing how much better emotionally and mentally I feel when there's a lot space inside to breathe, twist, hold and stretch.
In other news, I registered with a temp agency that has a contract with the main hospital here, so I'm hoping something comes up fairly soon.
And, I'm having second thoughts about reading my thoughts at the guy's sentencing hearing. I just feel done, I'm sick of it all. I still feel that what the legal system said to me was, oh, it wasn't so bad what he did to you, he only deserves 12 years which means he'll be out on parole in 3 or 4. No biggie, case resolved nicely.
I don't know if it will do me good or will just be another icky thing to go through. The process is for me, I don't expect anyone to really be listening. I have to go through this with the doc tomorrow. The hearing is in a couple weeks. I have to decide. I could write something and just have it in his file, it doesn't have to be read or the judge can read it. What would you guys do?
Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's, hugs to all the kids who miss their mom's and love to all who nurture.
Here are my babies-