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If one of my friends moved to a brand new town where she didn’t know anyone after her marriage imploded, with her three pets, to a small apartment, handled all the details herself, was living on a tight budget, looking for a job, selling their house remotely with a realtor, registered with 3 staffing agencies, scoured job listings daily (multiple times) had her second interview today for a job she really wants, (that she found herself without the agencies) all in TWO months, I would say, you’re an effing rockstar sister!

I’m my friend, aren’t I? AREN’T I??

There are definitely times in life where you wait and while you wait, you live. When you wait, you have NO control over the thing you’re waiting on, only the way you react to the waiting. Nothing more!

But if thoughts shape our lives then fill that wait with abundance!

It is supposed to be sunny and dry for a week. A WEEK!! (Does this post make me seem unbalanced?)

Is spring balanced? No! It explodes here and creeps there. It’s warm today and below freezing tomorrow. But spring is on the approach!

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Wet snow on Monday, freezing cold in the teens on Tuesday and Wednesday, warming up a bit now, a few days of sun, rain on the weekend. So goes another week here.

I met with another recruiting agency yesterday, I really liked this one. The young man I interviewed with was also from Florida, he had some good suggestions for my resume which I implemented right away. So I guess the deal with employment here is it's s a small town with mostly blue collar jobs and so many people want to live here that once an ad goes out, they're swamped with hundreds of applications. A lot. So I was bold to move here first, job to follow. Takes a few months they say, keep looking, make connections, network, be patient, my resume is good.

I pounce on every ad that's reasonable, work my LinkedIN, stay engaged with things that aren't job seeking related. Yoga, reading, long walks with dog exploring town and parks.

I play trivia with a group of people that live in the building every Wednesday at a bar a couple streets over. It's been great for me, I like my little family here, we have fun. Again and again, I'm grateful I made the choice to live here and not in a little house where I think I would have been more isolated.

My dog is super popular with everyone. People are always volunteering to walk him for me if I ever need it. He goes to daycare 3 days a week, I was so lucky to finally find a really good one with loving people who know dogs well and have a wonderful set up and constant human attention for the dogs. He loves it there.

Hmm. I forgot you can't post your own photos here without uploading them somewhere.

I'm impressed and sad about Alex Trebak's announcement yesterday. What a great attitude. He just seems like such a nice guy. He will be awash in good thoughts.

I reached a part in the book I'm reading where I'm having a lot of trouble accepting the plot twists. Isn't that funny? I guess that happens when positively connected to the characters and not liking their reactions. Like life, though, I have to accept it or stop reading. And its a good book by a good writer, I'm still curious about what will happen, so there isn't a real reason to stop. But I feel the effort. Like life.

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This week the driver's license quest continued with roller coaster emotions and epic failures and success.

But first, the most significant and symbolic event I can remember in a long time presented itself – On Monday, I saw a bear on the side of 240 West just outside of Asheville after I had dropped Zia off at daycare. A bear!

I've only seen a cub in Yosemite once at a distance. This was a stout youngster rooting around at the bottom of a wooded hill. I was euphoric.

When I got home, I looked up the symbolism. The bear represents intuition, introspection, and instinct. They disappear for their spiritual sleep and wake to the sun, jubilant, smaller in body, and greater in spirit, which can be likened to releasing worldly goods and possessions, beginning again, a fresh start.

I am a bear. I chose to move in winter, settle in, and be here when spring first whispers and sings. I got rid of many worldly goods to downsize, including letting go of my marriage, and am embracing a more minimalist approach to everything which is empowering -(and cheaper). I chose the bear for my totem. A freaking bear! It made me so happy!

Tuesday, I got up early, dropped Zia at daycare and drove back to Marshall to get my license. I arrived about 8:45, prepared to wait, almonds in my purse, determination in my heart. The ten or so us waiting chatted about the horrors of Asheville DMV and the pleasantness of waiting here instead.

About two hours later it was my turn. I sat down and took out all my documentation only to learn I needed two forms of government ID, I didn’t have my SS card in my wallet. I was devastated. There was no way I was getting it today.

I came out and told my fellow pilgrims I didn’t have what I needed. Their empathy was balm. But I confess I still shed a few furious tears on the drive back.

Once home, I gathered my SS card, and also my passport and birth certificate and put all in my purse. There would be no more failures. But would there? Could I trust myself?

I had an idea that I would go to Asheville DMV in the afternoon once the morning crowd had been taken care of. How bad could it be?

Bad. I got there about 2. Out of 11 stations, only two were servicing people. There were at least 35 people sitting waiting and 15 people in line. Some had been there four hours.

I waited in line for 10 minutes to get some information. I can’t imagine how this man could stand the job. The big, cold, and gray room had the atmosphere of a prison, a grim dungeon where hopes die. I asked if I could make an appointment, he said there was availability in mid April. Six weeks from now.

It really felt like one of those maddening dreams where you don’t have what you need however hard you try, whatever feats you perform, and feels like life and death, trying and failing.  I politely declined. I had updated my insurance from one state to another, so I needed a license soon. Can anyone wait six weeks?

And so Wednesday dawned. I had far less spring in my steps, and Bear in my heart, but I repeated the steps and arrived again in Marshall. Waited two hours again. Nice people in the waiting room again. And I got my license, after four attempts, two headaches, one upset stomach, and too many tears.

I can’t imagine having a job and having to take a whole day or two off, or going in with small kids, both of which I witnessed. Asheville’s Achilles heel, is the DMV.

I’ve fought the battle; it’s definitely an ice breaker here, to talk about with people and compare our scars.

Winter’s almost over though, this bear made it.



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I'm accepting finding work is a slow go right now. I accept this at least 20 times a day. I ask what can I do while waiting? Look everyday, apply to all that seem appropriate, reasonable, and or interesting.


Yesterday I looked up volunteer possibilities and I was delighted to see so many options. Next week I'll volunteer at a food pantry and possibly the Red Cross. Keep busy, keep meeting people, be engaged.


I've encountered something different here that I haven't seen before in the two other states I've lived. The DMV, as I have always known it, is divided into two entities here. One place you get your drivers license, then you go to another place and register your car and get your tags. Not all in one. No appointments.


In the 'take care of business' category, I need a NC drivers license and to register my car. The local advice was to go to a nearby small town where it's less crowded. My mistake was going on a Friday, middle of the week is when the wise person goes. I opened the door to the unassuming drivers license office, 7 men were sitting in a tiny room, silently. I glanced around and saw no workers, only a sign that said they weren't taking tickets until 1pm. It was 10:30.


I smiled at the room in general and asked what the procedure was. Each gave a little information, they explained they were full and weren't taking anymore until 1. I laughed a little and said, oh, I heard this was the good one. I asked if they were going to sit there until 1 and they said they had tickets.


I got more information regarding the registering and license plates, right down the street, but of course you need the drivers license first. So a bit of a bust, but I learned something because I got to see a bit of this antique town and the drive in was so cool.


It's a little town called Marshall about 20 miles north of Asheville. There's a scenic drive along the French Broad River, which I chose not to take, as it's been raining for a week or a month and everything is so saturated and slick and the rivers are full, it felt a little stressful. But the last few miles wind along the river and a side of a mountain. The river was all stirred up, its muddy brown waves coursing beside me leading to downtown, which looked like it hadn't changed much in 100 years. Two story brick buildings, red or yellow brick, a single traffic light, the railroad tracks. In the mountain mist and rain, it was easy to lose track of the year.

I truly felt out of time and place as I drove out and back home. I feel this frequently since everything is new. A little at a time things solidify but I'm in the magical time where it all shifts daily as something new emerges.

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Amazing times these are. Americans in the street peacefully protesting corporate greed, corporate rule; fighting for their homes, education, jobs, a living wage, a place to peacefully assemble. Finally, Americans in the street. Watch the videos of peaceful Americans being beaten by cops while politicians rail against human abuses in other countries. Are you watching? Are you awake? Turn off the corporate news, log online and read what's really happening. Visit your nearest city's occupy home. Americans in the street.

I didn't think this would happen in my lifetime. Now I'm honored. My heart is breaking for the demonstrators who are being beaten and robbed of their essentials needed to camp, to occupy. But I also know, because I've been there, that their humor, their will and their love is 'unbeatable.' Solidarity.

Amazing times. No job for so long. Living my life, staying responsible, getting to know myself, doing more with more people, recognizing and being happy with my own humanity, my own occupation.

Confusing and lovely times.  People walking into my heart. Me, actually being able to step into theirs.
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I participated yesterday at Occupy San Francisco’s ‘foreclose Wells Fargo,’ my 3rd Wednesday demonstrating.

I feel like this movement is the revolution I’ve been waiting for my entire life. It resonates on every level of my being.

The action took place during morning rush hour.  Tuesday night I couldn’t sleep at all, tossed and turn and thought. Partly the humidity of October in the bay area, partly many things on my mind, such as feeling something being born or recognized in myself. I’m going through a metamorphosis of some kind, which is also something that I’ve been waiting and seeking my entire life.

What started at Burning Man has continued and multiplied and become some sort of fractal presentation of myself, where everything I see and touch and think is related and relevant. For instance, what does freedom really mean to me? And having it is frightening and exhilarating, partly because of the disappearance of walls and structures, so many veils lifted; and if I have it, I must also gift it to everyone in my life. No more grudges, jealousies, feelings of lack.

So these thoughts are in my head and I’ve been trying to capture their forms into words.

Back to yesterday. I donated a big quilt to Occupy SF, I had bought it at a thrift store for Burning Man, stuffed it in a huge pillowcase type thing for a cushy seat, that  I never brought out of my tent, since the shade structure wasn’t as large as it was made out to be. 

I couldn’t fit it in any bag but a big garbage bag; I couldn’t take a sign, because it would rip the bag, so with a few essentials, holding the squishy bag to my body, I half trotted/ran to the Bart station since I was going to get there about 10 minutes late. I rode into the city with the morning commuters; it’s only a 15 minute trip. I got to the encampment, the quilt went to a young tired young guy, they pointed me in the direction of the march about 2 long blocks away, and in between waiting for lights, I ran to catch up and get in the midst.

Chinese, Filipino, Spanish and English were the languages of the day. There were infants and senior citizens. We basically surrounded Wells Fargo headquarters by picketing at each entrance, 2 main entrances, and 2 back entrances for employees. People sat in front of the doors, and inside the revolving doors, volunteers who planned on being arrested. The rest of us picketed. Around 8:30 is when the eleven people at the employee side door got arrested, they were released a couple hours later and came right back, they were just a few blocks away.

That and the back entrance eventually had a very small presence, we focused on the 2 main customer entrances, no one budged, no one got arrested, no customers got in. We shut the bank down from 9 to 12:30, as planned, then marched around it one more time. There was lots of traffic support, lots of good media coverage. Like most, I took pictures and posted on FB in real time.

For me personally, getting up at 4 because I couldn’t sleep, sipping coffee at home, then sprinting to Bart and then the march, then marching and chanting and singing, well, that’s a lot for an early morning.  My head and heart were thrumming with adrenaline and passion and solidarity with so many different people who participated.

I went to a McDonalds a block and a half away a couple times to use the restroom and bought another coffee. I had a banana at some point, and then bought protein bars at a Walgreens.  The energy was electrifying, the speakers were amazing. Naomi Klein showed up which was cool.

After the action was done, I walked back to Occupy SF. I really like being there. I also love that I’ve gotten involved while this movement is small because I’m meeting people, I’m meeting my people, we’re all our people I think.

I recognized a guy I had demonstrated with for the last 5 hours and introduced myself and we talked. He’s a software guy, lost his job, very into the movement. We were closest to the Federal Reserve building, standing on the edge of a circle of people who were discussing something intently, in the democratic way of the Occupy movement. Others were sitting around on tarps, the various tables for libraries, food, etc., were south a little, and the people sleeping were closest to Market St.

A new friend I met last week was nearby on a tarp playing his guitar, we waved and he came over and we all sat. I pulled out the sage I had brought for the march but didn’t light, since we were picketing, there wasn’t enough space to really burn it.

We talked and talked about life and the various actions and how the cop that started the aggressiveness last week was paid off to start something.  The guy with the guitar is a gifted singer and musician and free spirit with very good energy.  He left after a while and the tech guy and I leaned in to the meeting to listen.

They were discussing the letter they had just received from the city. The city was offering them a building, but with the thousands of homeless people in San Francisco who are arrested and moved constantly, they felt that was simply a fear tactic on the city’s part.

There was discussion about permits. Some thought they should apply for a permit for every different aspect the occupation offers, such as a library, food, first aid, etc. But it seems that was dismissed when the person with the letter said that’s not what the city was asking; they could apply for just one permit.

Since they can’t have tents on the sidewalk there is a lot of discussion about moving and scouting out parks. That’s a little sad, because being in front of the Federal Reserve building is amazing, being on Market, the bus drivers beep like crazy every time they go by, which is frequently, drivers honk, it’s a very symbolic place to be, if not totally practical, although the Bart station is right there too.

They discussed staying there which they can do, no one is moving them; they just have to do their cooking away from where the main group of people is and to eliminate wood-things that can burn. When we lit my sage, many people came by and made jokes to my guitar-playing friend about being careful for having a weapon. One of their group is in jail with a $50,000 bail for hitting a cop with sage.

They seemed to decide that a park would be best because they want to be self-governing, not told what they can do. It’s all about participatory democracy. Some felt they can do that on the sidewalk, as it’s their city, public property. But others like the park idea since they’re anticipating more joining the actual occupation.

They had been discussing for 2 hours, intelligent words and ideas coming out of every type of person imaginable, some living there, some donating their time and influence and resources.  They passed around a sign-up sheet for those that wanted to answer the letter from the city as it was decided that they wanted to answer all communication whether they agreed to it or not.

The next task was to scout out parks and decide which one they wanted to occupy.

It was very interesting, very powerful and encouraging.  It’s not all peace and love, but it is people speaking their truths in turn, respectful of letting each voice be heard.

I really like if not love, being there. I’ll be there often, until I’m working again.  I know for a fact if I was 20 years younger I’d be sleeping there a couple nights a week.

Occupy Oakland has a completely different vibe that I am not into on any level. I joined their page on FB but I don’t agree with their actions nor their ‘demands, ‘nor their very high opinion of themselves as an organized group. I don’t want to demonstrate with them either, because of the history of violence; I don’t trust them. My nerves and ethics just don’t fit into that model.

Oakland politics are filthy. The police chief just resigned under pressure from the mayor. People here are so mistrustful of the cops, and the same old voices are saying he resigned just when the occupations occurred, I suppose they think he would have swept them out of the park. I don’t agree, but he’s out now.

The SF group discussed the cop situation and determined the cops on the ground are there to protect them; they’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. It’s the layers of authority above the cops on the ground that they mistrust. I agree wholly with that. It’s nice to see the cops moving slightly to the music and chanting and singing during a protest. They can’t help it. Plus they know which side they’re on.

 So for this movement, my heart is in San Francisco.

 

 

 

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Yesterday what I thought was blue was a low grade panic that escalated to full blown despair. I worked through it all. After the yoga, sage, a very hot tub, a pill, some wine, a long long chat with a beloved friend. Then finally sleep and today much better, just the heavy bones feeling of the adrenaline leaving. It's all good though. It's damp and gloomy outside, I stayed cozy. I wrote a poem.

I’ve surrendered.

 

My heart doesn’t behave like a door or window that I want ajar

just this much and no more.

 

Once opened, it yawns hungrily and claims more

and becomes so vast,

I occupy my heart

instead of it nestled in me.

 

How disturbing…how exhilarating…

I lose my balance.

 

Everything comes in.

 

Salty sea water

in which sometimes I surf, sometimes I drown

but just for a time

before I plunge up for air.

 

Dry metallic desert dust

envelops me; chokes and blinds me,

yet polishes me like white marble.

 

Bees and hummingbirds bring gifts:

a glittering tiny stone, small bones from recent feasts,

a scrap of paper, once part of a love letter.

They play a whispering magnificent symphony.

 

An ancient and nascent wind blows.

It cushions and lifts me on a journeying draft.

 

It caresses my cheeks and kisses my lips

and murmurs in my ear

 of past adventures, inviting me

to love further.

 

Free, revealed

seeking you

and me.



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I woke feeling a bit blue this morning, in truth, I went to bed feeling a bit blue. I think I suffer from a feeling of lack, when good things are happening, I fear they'll stop. I see it, which is good. Because a lot of things are beautiful right now;  I'm a bit off balance. I'm not sure that's a bad thing though. I need my time in silence.

I meditated and did some practices and could feel strength pouring into my core. I just downloaded several new yoga practices, I may just do yoga all day. I've cleaned a bit,  done laundry, will chat with parental units, then get on the mat. I feel like being very quiet.

Yesterday I went to my neighborhood library branch and returned Jonathan Franzan's Freedom. What. A. Read. He is a brilliant writer. The library was closed due to lack of funding. The main library is downtown, but I'm not in the mood for the ugliness of downtown today.

After a lot of yoga, I'm going to start rereading The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolano. That will keep me busy. I want to read 2666, but will try to find a used version since it will take a long time to read. Last time I read Savage Detectives I was transported, inspired, confused, entertained, renewed. It's an amazing book. Anyone read it?
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Regarding the burning man blog post and the ephemeral relationships that are created on the playa, and then disintegrate in the real world…

I think burner buddies sounds too much like fuck buddies, but that’s not the part of the article I focused on.

I like how he says that there, we learn to say yes instead of no, but when we come back we start saying no again. I hadn’t heard it put quite that way before; I love that theory.

I think it’s true and I think the goal, mine anyway, is to keep saying yes, shouting yes, whispering yes, doing like the village people with my arms and making the letters Y E S.

Occupy Wall St. came at the perfect time of course. In the midst of actually being with the demonstrators, reading about NY and all the other cities, seeing the movement begin and then spread and spread and spread on FB gives me that YES feeling of burning man, where anything is possible, and the doing is more important than the outcome, just say yes and see where it leads, there is tremendous trust.

It seems to me to be the definition of freedom, of open heartedness.  A way to really live the principles we learn in the desert that seeps into our skin like the dust. It’s always a question of how do you carry that home, how do you keep all that fire and wind and dust and heat and love and YES alive in your heart when you’re slowly overcome by work or no work, money issues, health issues, relationship issues, life.

This is a really good way. My heart is in it for the long long haul, whatever happens. I’m drenching FB with photos and relevant articles about Occupy Wall St. I marched this past Wednesday at noon. We had almost 1000 people. It was great; down Market, to City Hall, through the Tenderloin, to Union Square and back to the Federal Reserve building. The cops cleared the streets for us. We saw people of every ilk, residents and tourists, every color, hanging out of buildings, employees in the banks waving at us. There was such energy.

Saturday the 15th should be huge. If so moved please share in some way whatever information you can or join or donate. I think most of us here are the 99%. Mike check.

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Empty hangers everywhere! I keep shuffling them from closet to closet, some hang, some live on the floor. I think I went from about 10 to 45. 45 empty hangars! Who took my clothes? I have no clothes!

I wrote something this morning about accepting autumn's arrival:  I've kissed summer good bye until we meet again and I welcome autumn! I look forward to the trees dressing in their flamboyant finery then shaking it all loose in the rain and the wind.

Maybe it was the picture of the trees in their gorgeous fall wardrobes, their finest costumes and the long dances they'll perform in the winter storms.

I heard voices:  I need clothes. Now. Today.

It's been years since I shopped for more than one article of clothing and that was usually at thrift stores. So today, I went shopping!

TJ Maxx and Old Navy, nothing extravagant. But I got some awesome buys on 2 dresses from Max Studio, one of my favorite stores, ($29 and $36 from $118), a pretty top to go out in, a fabulous pair of shoes that I just wanted, 5, yes five bras, 3 t-shirts, a warm surprisingly nice and fitted fleece type jacket, like a snug pea coat,  and a super cheap pair of cute earrings.  And I feel great about it. Everything is washed and drying.

I threw out my old bras, and stuffed some shirts that were still hanging yet I never wore into a bag for later donating.

I made some calls regarding the harassment at the last job and finally got to a top person at the temp agency who hadn't heard the story. I promptly received a call from my new recruiter. We'll see what happens there.

Tomorrow in NY will be a huge protest. I'll be in San Francisco doing my thing. Every body counts.

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Right on time, as fall seeps into the air, I feel one hundred passing whispers chilling me enough to pull on my fleece hat and think with an unnamed yearning of what is leaving, those that are physically distant, the darker days and longer nights to come, the instinct to gather. Gather into myself, gather those close to me to myself, bring in warmth from the chill of the day.
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Some people will continue to say that marching and protests don't do anything.  Nothing will change. They'll say there weren't many people, it wasn't on the news or it only got 4 seconds and it's not in the paper.  Some people will continue to shake their heads sadly, cynically or apathetically at the state of the economy, the crooks in DC and still put their money in the big banks and pay their fees, the banks we the 99 percent bailed out-- because it's a hassle to change banks.  Some people will continue to say that Facebook is not for them, it's silly, they can't express themselves there, it's an invasion of privacy, they don't care what people ate for breakfast.  So they will not see how it gives us the power to be the media in real time and to share with the world information and yes, what I'm growing in my garden. Don't like a post? Hide it. Don't like the games? Hide them. Take the trouble to look at the settings. The world is on FB, face it.  hehehe

And honestly, how much of their life do they  think is NOT being tracked? Do they really only use cash at all times and store their money under the mattress? Do they care that much that because they click on a link, the ads will target them more specifically? Well, great. Maybe they've opted out. I gave up whatever I believed then to be private, when the gov't declared war on Iraq. I personally don't care about so-called privacy, I sign every petition I believe in and have for years.

I'm passionate about Occupy Wall Street and the movement that is building momentum. It's not going to stop. There is only a small percentage of people who don't agree with what the protestors are protesting. It's a no-brainer. We were robbed, stripped of jobs, stripped of services, overtaxed and we chase health care. Over 9% unemployment for how long? Tax incentives for corporations to outsource? There are not jobs being created. We are still being robbed and walked on.

I marched in Occupy SF yesterday, there were marches all around the nation. It's the second, I wasn't aware of the first one 2 weeks ago, but awareness is spreading. I'm spreading it. Maybe people have hid me on FB, don't care. The word is out. If no one speaks out, they win. They are 1 percent of the people, we're the 99 percent.

The unions are all joining, kids, seniors, unemployed, employed, black, white, brown, yellow, red, are joining.  I'm in for the long haul, proud of it, energized, in love with the people. If you've never been in the streets with hundreds and soon to be thousands of others, I strongly suggest it. The smallness gave it an intimate feel that the big marches naturally don't have. I liked that and will happily give it up too.

Small but amazing, empowering and adrenaline pumping. We started at Bank of America, marched through the Financial District, stopped at Charles Schwabb to picket for about half an hour, passed by Citi Bank, Wells Fargo, who are the others, all of them, then stopped to picket Chase. Who doesn't agree? We're protesting for the cops too, who were plentiful, but not in riot gear and I actually admired them in the lobbies of the banks where people entered. Must be hard. I did ask a friend if I could call him if I got arrested, you're supposed to do that. And he kept checking on me, which was cute. I posted as many photos on FB in real time as I could before my phone lost too much power. Me and everyone there.

People do have power. Not everyone has to march, but since everyone is affected, doing something is worlds better than nothing.

Pictures )
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I like, possibly love getting up early, for no reason. I'd like to have a reason, still on the job hunt. I can barely believe I haven't worked all month.

My bedroom window faces east which will now be a deal-breaker when finding places to live. I have a nice view of the Oakland hills and love watching the sky lighten gradually, from black night and twinkling lights and stars fading to deep blue, lit from behind as the sun rises. I can see the strip of light, usually pinkish as it rises over the hills. The pink is the least of it. I love the slow fade.

The job thing, geez. Fuck! I apply to several ads a week, when they're connected to a temp agency it's usually what I like to call a fake job. I humiliated myself and called the place I interviewed with several weeks ago. I noticed when I was there the guy was not very socially talented. I was very pleasant, asked if they were still looking, he said they were still recruiting. And because I couldn't think of what to say next I said something like, am I still in the running?

Brilliant. Obviously, no.

I went dancing last night again, I liked the music better than last week, it was a lot of mash-ups and had a more gothic, darker, sanctuary feel to it.  I felt really great. Into the 2nd hour, the contact dancers began getting to me and distracting me. They're amazing to watch, they do like a reiki type dance, almost touching, but not, winding around each other, then there are lifts, it's really cool. A lot of them do this. It's extremely sensual. Watching the dance floor, makes me feel like I'm on another planet watching people dance. Any movement will do. Some people stay on the floor the whole time. Others are jumping all over the place. So, towards the end, it's kind of hard to find a spot and focus inward. I found myself getting annoyed and also laughing at myself getting annoyed.

And then I got plowed into by 3 guys doing some complicated contact dancing and I felt like I went flying, I kind of rolled over another woman who had been dancing low, but I sort of brought her down. We were both laying on our backs and we looked at each other and held each other's hands, laughing, asking are you all right? Sorry, etc. She said she was happy to cushion my fall. This morning I realize I broke my fall on my right hip, ouch and then rolled to my tailbone. ouch.

After that I did some yoga, sat, then left, it was almost over anyway. I still like it.

About Occupy Wall Street.   I am passionate about it, what is happening and that so many are communicating. That's the beauty of FB. We are the media. Those in NY are there for us, all of us.  I want to be in NY. There is something happening in San Francisco today,  I'm fairly certain I'll be there.

Apparently the Tampa Bay Rays did something extraordinary last night, so I'm actually going to read up on that. I like sports as pop culture.

night to day )
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Time to speak.  The extension to the mayor's office has been disabled, but you can file a complaint online. I did.

www.commondreams.org/further/2011/09/26-1


Identified: NYPD Officer Who Maced Peaceful Protesters

A photographer has identified the cruel and cowardly NYPD Supervisor who point blank maced a penned in group of young women and then slinked away Saturday at the Occupy Wall Street protests.

Deputy Inspector Anthony V. Bologna of the NYPD Patrol Borough Manhattan South.

If you think Deputy Inspector Bologna should be fired and prosecuted for his abuse of power, call Mayor Bloomberg: 212-772-1081 ext. 12006 or file an on-line complaint with NYPD Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly here: http://www.nyc.gov/html/mail/html/mailnypd.html


Photo/ http://davidscameracraft.blogspot.com

Photo/ http://www.thevillager.com/villager_113/afteryearsoftrouble.html


 

James Fallows at The Atlantic writes:

According to the NYT, the chief police spokesman, Paul Browne, said that the policeman used pepper spray "appropriately." Great. On the video we can't hear what either side is saying. But at face value, the casualness of the officer who saunters over, sprays right in the women's eyes, and then slinks away without a backward glance, as if he'd just put down an animal, does not match my sense of "appropriate" behavior by officers of the law in a free society.



openscarf: (Default)

If I told you
that while I slept or
more accurately, lie in my tent
on sleeping bag,
pad and tent floor trinity
on the desert ground,
my body dusted by desert kisses
and calcined ashes,
once the bottom of a vast wet lake in which life flourished
and flourished life;

and that time evaporated
or elongated
ancient and present merged
dimensions expanded
and beings entered
my tent, my blood and soul

 

visitation )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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Burning Man, the event is officially over for me as of 30 minutes ago. There is so much I want to write but there is such an internal process going on, I would be forcing words out and I'm not ready yet.

Burning Man is a party but it's also hard with the weather conditions, the physical demands and the body's reactions. Every emotion will be magnified and you are compelled to look closely at yourself and your reactions. You're also surrounded by colorful people on their own journeys, music, dancing, art, fun, games and the most intense bonding experiences. You're just living it all when you're there and figuring it out comes later.

Racing across the playa at night on your bike, seeing art, dodging art cars, people, cyclers--amazing fun.
Stopping in bars for a drink and a chat with whomever-amazing
Riding across the playa in the early morning, watching the sunlight change the shape of the mountains, looking at art close up, hanging out with it, feeling it-fantastic
Dancing at the biggest dance club at 4pm with thousands of people, just sunlight, music and people, organically creating an energy that could send rockets to Mars, pure joy.

Words, just words.
openscarf: (Moody eye)
I'm so up and down lately. I believe it's all job related or lack of job related. I've had nibbles the last few days which is encouraging and I'm about to go on vacation anyway, but still...

I did no yoga, no crunches, no dance today but did walk to the post office and mailed a dress I sold on ebay, then to Trader Joe's and Walgreens for stuff and then home. But then I took a long nap. I guess stress will do that to you. And what's wrong with sleeping I ask myself? I'm not lazy, I stay busy all day, it's exhausting. I'm stressed, I accept it.

Seeing my friend tomorrow, the best thing that happened at my last job, I made a true beautiful friend.

This afternoon I practiced gluing crystal jewels on my eyelids, looked great, very tricky to apply. I need to examine more types of eyelash glue. The one I got had no applicator, I used an old but never used small eye make-up brush.

I got a lot of work done on my clothes this week. Glued flat back rhinestones and blue & green seaglass on my black cami, they look good. My theme is ocean,waves, seaweed with blooms, sun rays. I want to add more to it and think I'm going to cut away a section of the part under the bra cups and sew in another piece of material, part of an old scarf or something. Still thinking.

I added two eye-let thing-a-ma-bobs to a skirt I love that I wore last year so I can tie it at my hip a little tighter. That was so easy to do,  I want to add them to everything.

The pink slip-gown has been punked up big time. It was long, with a handkerchief type hem, but now is short.  I sort of chopped it up and re-assembled it, I used fabric glue on it because the silk was too hard to sew. It's part silk, velvet trim and burnt velvet. The glued part is a little stiff, but I'm hoping to lightly iron it when it's done or soak it, not sure though, cause glue may lose some power, will research that.

The back of this work-in-progress is still up for grabs. I evened it out by cutting but need to do something to it. I have some light brown suede I may attach, just to the back. I could sew that. I could make it a little fringe as well. I don't know. I'm thinking.

I learned you can stretch clothing that you accidentally shrunk by soaking the garment in fabric softener or hair conditioner than laying it out flat slightly stretching it. I used clothes pins on two towels then ironed it. I did it twice. The little dress that got too short is back to a non-prostitute length in front, just short. I love the internet.

My two solar lanterns came today. I adore them. I'm going to use them in the house at night. I wish I could solar everything. I'm learning more about it. Two of the women coming to BM are bringing a lot of solar powered stuff. Beats kerosene.

I'm reading the last Harry Potter book - DON'T TELL ME HOW IT ENDS! It's a joy, I mean really.

I bought a lot of incense and sage today, most of it for burning man but am basking in the sweet curling smoke carrying my dreams to the universe for manifestation.

ommmmmmmmm

Namaste Dreamwidth friends
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This quote blew me away when I read it  today and I discovered a person I'd like to know more about:

This is when the magic happens: right when you feel like everything is going wrong, shift your attitude to accept that it’s actually going right. Our judgments of how we think our life should be are preventing us from reaching our Highest Potential. If you’re going through a storm, hold the belief that it’s the perfect storm for you to be going through and that you’ve been given everything you need to weather the storm. When the chaos subsides you will experience the Truth that is forever true; you are always taken care of, exactly where you need to be and your efforts are rewarded exactly when they need to be. Remember this Truth the next time a storm is on the horizon and you will grow wings and be able fly right over it and towards the calm waters of Trust and Universal love.” ~Jackson Kiddard

Yesterday I had some news that literally brought tears of joy to my eyes. Although Unemployment had told me the amount I would be receiving via mail, during the process it turns out I qualified for an extension since I've only been working temporary jobs since getting laid off, so I still receive the maximum amount. It's truly wonderful to be slightly less poor than I was!

Burning Man prep is accelerating. I reserved a car, bought a used bike rack, bought 8 two-foot ,1/2 inch diameter rebar stakes, bungies, gems to glue on my face, some toiletries, a paper thin full-length mirror and clothesline. I ordered two small solar lanterns for camp and my tent.

I really need to start hemming and embellishing my clothes. I don't really have that many.  Which is fine. I think that's tomorrow. I have another big trip to an army surplus store for goggles and to see whatever else they have I may need. I need a pad for under my sleeping bag...I am EXCITED and nervous!!

I did major work in my garden today. My hot pepper plants are huge, I see something like a flower coming along but it's droopy. I cleaned the leaves cause a few were shriveling, so I think  bug was sucking the juice out of them. I need a ladybug or two out there. I transplanted my biggest one and a smaller one into a huge pot, then switched a few others into the next size. Yesterday I cut back the basil and cilantro and have it drying. I think I may take a nice dried bag to Burning Man, my mates cook alot. After I clean up the balcony tomorrow --once the sun drys the floor-- I'll take a few pictures and post them.



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I've posted here please take a clicky moment and come on over to mah new abode. I'm not cross posting or doing different posts in each place, but I'm reading here and I see how light it is. Namaste friends.
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I've had an interesting and entertaining 5 days. Last weekend my cousin from Santa Monica called and said she was visiting friends NE of where I live and could swing down to visit on her way back. Her cousin lives nearby and was out of town but gave her his tickets for the Phillies/Giants game on Saturday afternoon.

That sounded all good, then it got better. She called from her friends' home in Grass Valley and they invited me up Wednesday, I could take the train and then she'd drive us back on Thursday. What we'd do on Wednesday is go swimming and sliding around waterfalls and rapids in the Yuba River.  Here are some pics from the web and here are some facts.

We were in the Sierra Nevada foothills where, as my cousin calls it, the mighty Yuba flows. This is where you want to be on a hot summer day. We hiked a short hike to the further end which is less populated and clothing optional, which is the only way to go and flow over small water falls, swirl around cool water eddies and drift along with the currents and sun ourselves on hot sloped flat rocks. Hmmm, I can still feel the warmth of the rock on my back. It's the kind of play that makes you laugh out loud, alot. It's a beautiful part of the state that has me thinking which is always good although it gets c-c-c-c-cold and snowy. It's quiet and small. Nevada City is very green and hippie drippy and a little bit more expensive.

Her friends were charming and we had a lovely night and morning and then came back to Oakland. Our first night I had at least 4!!! (small) martinis, at least 2 more than she did, I was just in that mode, I'm usually light weight, but maybe it was the car drive or something, but they were going down like buttah and we talked and talked and had yummy munchies. The next day we walked around da' town and went to my favorite restaurant that I take all my friends and family too, and we too closed the bar, like I did with my friend in April. They just don't like you to leave. It is the best bar. And that's because of the bartender, T____,  the best entertainer, story-teller, drink-maker, trash talking, never stop smiling expat from New Hampshire. I'll retell his stories some other post or at least describe him. He is a man's man.

The next day, Saturday, we were off to the game. To say my cuz is a Phillies & Eagles and all things Philly fan, besides her infinite love of all things sports is a gi-normous understatement. Decked in our jerseys we went to win the 3rd straight game from the World Series champs. Whoo hoo! It was fun. She is a spit fire. Because of the brawl of the night before when they hit my man, the flying Hawaiian, Shane Victorino (my man because I was wearing a jersey with his name on it and I was greeted like a Goddess, by jubilant, fist pumping, head nodding, song singing, hi-fiving proud Philly fans which served my need for attention quite satisfyingly). hee hee!

We learned there's a Philly bar nearby, called Nova which was fun to hang at. My cuz had friends from Santa Monica there, and it was a good Philly vibe.  Last night we just hung out here, tired and mellow and she took off this morning.

We didn't grow up together, due to parental feuding,  we are very different but were very proud of ourselves for getting together and getting to know each other in person. Since I've lived in CA, we've  grown friendly via email, facebook and phone calls, so we done good. I remember my dad hooking us up to be penpals when were really little after her father, his brother died, very young. Sad.

At the game I met an adorable  woman who is part of the Assyrian clan in a town called Turlock. We always knew Assyrians were there and my mom had some distant people there but never hooked up.

S___ the woman I met at the game (because we had my cousin's cousin's season tx , who sits with S___'s dad who is the link) and my cuz and myself became FB friends then she hooked us up with her parents.

I wrote her father today after talking to my mom and getting some names and he is just the sweetest man. I could feel the love, I know where S____ gets her friendly lovely side. Plus I like the fact that she tried to pick up Barry Zito. Too fabulous. Her father knows and/or knew some of our folk.  At some point my mom's dad considered moving there but didn't, they stayed in Philly. I look forward to going out there soon, apparently there is a very big community there and that's something I didn't grow up with.

Tomorrow is Monday. Sigh. I've had many days of goofing off and fun. I'm picking up a bike rack for my rental car tomorrow, $10 from craigslist. I'll reserve my car tomorrow too. Bank, errands and I have to start hemming and gluing, and make my list of essentials I need to start gathering for the awesome sojourn to the desert.

Of course I'll be checking craiglist & the other sites every couple hours for job listings and accepting all the goodies the day brings.



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