I’ve felt like a writer the last couple weeks. I’ve had about eight articles, a steady stream of assignments for the site, met and talked to a lot of people, wrote and wrote, and have enjoyed it all tremendously. I think I’m becoming more efficient and faster with organizing notes and getting that first draft written which is the hardest part for me. It’s also saving my sanity. Its ambiguity in action though, is that freelance life? Much of it I like, except for the empty and quiet spaces in-between and not feeling confident there will be more.
Not being fully employed for so long is wearing me down, not really an earth shattering revelation. I know the feelings are shared by legions right now: isolation, insecurity, self-doubt and weariness with not spending any money that isn’t vital to survival.
I read a conversation on FB recently, regarding creativity and creating. Someone wrote that dreams take energy and energy comes from food; no job = no food; no food = no energy; no energy = no dream. So work, eat well and you’ll keep the dream alive. Word.
When I eat extremely well, a world of hurt recedes; a lot of anxiety and aches and pains dissolve. I’m productive and my head is clear. But, it’s a battle to not cave in, eat or overeat whatever my emotions are whining for. That battle is won or lost in an instant.
I’m currently in limbo again, that dreaded state. I have things to do, of course. I slept late this morning because I was up late last night finishing an article. Now…yoga, get my car serviced, look for jobs to apply to, clean up, read…that should eat up the day.