openscarf: (Lady)
[personal profile] openscarf
[Error: unknown template qotd]It's been a very long time.  I feel that I used to do nothing but throw caution to the winds, I was rarely cautious.  I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it.  I didn't suffer whom I perceived to be fools and would move on to the next experience.  I spent what little money I had, I went where I wanted to, I knocked on and answered doors in the middle of the night, I passionately rejected what I perceived as any type of conformity.  All gut and hormones and not wanting to miss anything. With all that blowing around in the wind, I missed out on finding peace and stability, resulting in often being lonely and insecure.  Which propelled me to seek answers in spirituality, lots of reading and writing.  Buddhism, Sufism, yoga, age...all have helped quiet me.  I'd like some impulsiveness back.  And am working on that.

Great prompt.

Date: 2009-03-21 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wicapis.livejournal.com
great response. bold, honest, and I can relate to your sentiments.

wic

Date: 2009-03-21 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] openscarf.livejournal.com
thank you, I appreciate that. Your journal photos are so lovely...

Date: 2009-03-22 05:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dadadadio.livejournal.com
Throwing caution to the wind is an exciting way to live but eventually, as I believe you experienced, you feel a sense there's no foundation to life, no roots. Does that make sense?

Some people wander in search of every adventure, every sensual experience, and they find it......but where does that path lead to? Does it ever end?

On the other hand......people settle down too early, start the family, buy the house and may find the roots they've created to be confining. There's a facade of the happy family, husband, wife, 2.2 children but there's an underlying wander lust. We may ask ourselves.....Is this all there is?

Spirituality is a path many souls take when they ask those questions....Where does this end? ... or ... Is this all there is? Many find more to life through spirit and a belief structure. I lack the faith to travel that road.

I've thrown caution to the wind and I've established deep roots in life, but I would say I'm more of a grounded man. I could have had more adventure when I was young. I started the roots early.

......and I wonder what could have been.

Date: 2009-03-22 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] openscarf.livejournal.com
I think that whatever path one takes, it's because that way feels like the most reasonable way to stay true to what they're feeling inside. History is full of people who ventured outside the so-called box; it's just their nature. It's pretty rare I think to find older folks still searching for the same things they were seeking during youth; age mellows.There are physical reasons as well. That's why at middle age, we start looking for different aspects,other things. It's time for deepening. I mean, we have more patience. I think regardless of what path you took, as we get older and wiser, we realize being grounded comes from deep inside and is not related to the house, the kids, the toys, etc...I think it's learning and accepting who we are and who others are and realizing there is ususally very little difference.

I think it's learning and accepting who we are

Date: 2009-03-23 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dadadadio.livejournal.com
I acftually have a half written post titled .... 'Accepting Who We Are'. I keep going back to it but can't seem to wrap it up.
From: [identity profile] openscarf.livejournal.com
It would be a great post for the 40's group. Until I wrote those words I didn't realize that's what I thought. Why not go for it, even if not perfect?
From: [identity profile] dadadadio.livejournal.com
Have you ever started writing something and found yourself off on a related tangent? I do it all the time. It's the main reason that post in unfinished.

It started off as a mini-rant about pretentious people always trying to impress others rather then being themselves. Materialism is a pet peeve of mine.

Then I got into snobby elitist attitudes. Before I knew it I was writing about my son's intellectual elite attitude which is partly due to his mental illness, but also an issue he's had since we enrolled him in a private high school many years ago.

Anyway.....it was an out-of-control post that needs major reduction and revision, if not rewriting.

Profile

openscarf: (Default)
openscarf

March 2019

S M T W T F S
     1 2
3456 789
10111213141516
17 181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 9th, 2025 06:45 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios