(no subject)

[openscarf]

I wish I was able to feel more positively and/or humorously towards my sister. She pisses me off. And scares me. She offers nothing, cheerfully. She has kids which is the incentive to attempt communication, but there just isn't any. My 2 attempts today, have only resulted in me feeling like shit.

Comments

[mollys-home.livejournal.com]

I don't know the story behind you and your sister. I will try to read back in your journal to find out more.

But I have been estranged from my sister for eight years. We've gotten along for periods of time and been incompatible for other amounts of time. Family can be an odd thing. We feel an obligation to stay connected and yet if we were not related to some members, we probably would have nothing to do with them.

If it doesn't stress you out to write about her, what are the things that upset you most about her? Is she older or younger? Do you live near one another?

[sharpchick.livejournal.com]

You know the old saying about not being able to choose our relatives like we can our friends?

I think a lot of times, people are afraid to admit - even to themselves - that some people are just toxic to them, especially when one of those people is a relative (and in this case, a very close one).

My opinion about toxic people is that you have to grant yourself permission to carefully choose the dose of them you can take - if at all. My mother was one of those people for me. I've always said I don't think I've ever personally met an evil person, but if I have, it was my mother. For the last ten years of her life, I had very limited contact with her, mostly only by phone.

If your interactions with your sister only bring you down, then maybe you should consider giving yourself permission to determine the amount of contact you have at all with her.

[dadadadio.livejournal.com]

What Sharpie said.....she nailed it. Take your dose like it's bad medicine.

Are you close in age? Did you grow up together or where you at odds when you lived at home? There are so many factors determining how sibs get along. How parents deal with them has a lot to do with it.

I have a strange relationship with my siblings. It's mostly due to our age difference. I was born in 1961. My brother Scott was born in '63. After a seven year vacation mom had Nicole in '70, Donna in '72, and Glen in '74.

I moved out at 19 when the little ones were 10, 8 and 6. They grew up without me. I started a family when they were kids. We don't have much in common but there's no hostility.

I'm in contact with Glen and Nicole semi-regularly. In fact, I owe Niki a phone call. I never hear from Donna but that's fine with me....long story.

Scott died young. He and I grew up together but he was the black sheep, always in trouble. In a family of five kids I really only grew up with one.

We all complain about one thing, Mom's distance. Our mother will never pick up a phone or make any effort to contact us. Dealing with her is a one-way street. For years I thought it was just me but Niki and Glen confirmed they have the same problem.

My family is strange and now that I live far away I get only small doses.

[triplescorpio.livejournal.com]

I don't really have any advice, other than keeping your own boundaries in place for your own well-being. I've been lucky with my parents and siblings - we're all really close. My sister has been my lifeline over the past 8 months. She's opinionated sometimes, but usually right. She has this very clear way of looking at things.

I'll message you about FB. Maybe we could be friends there too?