surreality

Life is surreal and when it's obvious that it is surreal, it flows along with little regard for gravity or logic.

Do I pick apart every remembered moment of every dream seeking justice? No, I shake my head and chuckle at the dream memory of the mangy dog who asked for a drink of water so I turned on the hose for it. I forget now, but I did figure this one out for myself at the time.

I can approach 'real' life this way. Treat it as a series of symbols. For reasons I don't fully comprehend, I'm working an entry level job. It's not like I have a Ph.D, but I do have my four years and I did supervise a team, made decisions, offered input, etc. I did a job that currently 2 and a half people are now doing.

Today while waiting for checks to be printed that I would sort, distribute and stuff into envelopes, I saw my former team member and the person who has a lesser version of my supervisor position, coming back from somewhere, red eyed, mellow, spacey. Neither one went past high school.

People are leaving our company for greener pastures. I wish I was head hunter material, I'm not. My finding a job I feel valued in that fits my values will come about because I wanted it and can see myself somewhere better and so opportunities will flow from that energy. It's hard!

I'm back to basics on this. I'm starting with just writing in my journal, positively, what I want and saying it to myself. I've done magic before and I'll do it again.

I miss yoga. This bone graft scenero is kicking my ass. The timing of it is surreal. I want to feel good and strong, but I have to accept the healing time and lay low and rest. I want to start giving my place a good cleaning, stocking up on the basics for cooking and fun for Christmas and go to Thrift Town and buy myself some clothes. I'm ready for funky fab clothes.

Doc appointments, mental & dental, preliminary hearing prep, then the hearing. Maybe a break then.